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EA Announces Next Booster Pack

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Hier mal was nettes im Inet gefunden :P

Straight from EA folks, the next booster pack called "Flaming Bag Of Dog Shit" is set for release in mid-August 2006. The booster will focus on battles between the U.S.M.C., MEC and Chinese forces in the African theater. The booster pack will include - new vehicles, one-half of a new map and 1 new army.

New vehicles will include:

USMC

V-22 Osprey

The main feature of the V-22 is to crash immediately upon takeoff, killing all on-board.

C-130 Hercules

The main feature of the C-130 is that it does absolutely nothing. It sits on the runway and looks pretty.

M3-A1 Tuffy Bicycle

Quick transport for the foot soldier. Due to the cost of the war, the US could not afford Huffy bikes. Tuffy bikes have been known to spontaneously explode with no warning. Beware.

MEC

Insert overused and outdated Russian equipment here.

China

J-1000 Super Fighter

The J-1000 is a next generation fighter developed by the Chinese with all the money they made selling the U.S. Tuffy bikes. The main feature of the jet is the "Super Death Laser" attached to the front that automatically finds and destroys any target on the battlefield without any input from the pilot what-so-ever. Also, the J-1000 has a new super-alloy skin that is impenetrable by any projectile known to man.

Type 53 Moped

We own the sky, we gotta suck somewhere

NEW ARMY

We are very happy to introduce the new SSR army. The Starving Somalians with Rocks army will be armed only with rocks but the ticket ratio for that team will be doubled. SSR troops (like all others) will not be able to jump and throw rocks because that would be unrealistic. SSR Snipers will be armed with Super Stretch Slingshots while SSR Anti-Tank troops will be armed with a slightly larger rock than the other classes. The SSR army will be equipped with two (YES TWO!!!) new vehicles:

The Toyota truck missing the back right wheel.

It's also on fire

The Original Blackhawk Helicopters

Yes the BH from pre-1.2. Too bad it doesn't fly and you're out of bullets.

NEW MAP

Strike On Mogadishu

Mogadishu, built in the early 17th century, is the sister city of Karkand in Iran. The streets, buildings and trees are exactly the same!! One thing that sets them apart is that it is slightly less dusty and there are flys everywhere. Also, the all new feature we like to call "hypodermic needle" adds a whole new dimension to the game. Lay down in the wrong spot and you get AIDS.

As always we are working around the cock here at EA/DICE to bring you the latest and greatest in your gaming experience. We strive for balance and a bug free game and we hope that this exciting new Booster pack will deliver. Set your calenders for August.......September ...what's that.....ok NOVEMBER SOLDIER!!

Pre-order Flaming Bag of Dog Shit today!!!!

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